This is my leap. This is my walk of faith into my power, into my beauty, into my grace. I have gifts to share. I have wisdom to impart. I have a shine to shine and life is way too short to keep me from living my brightest hope and biggest dream ~ for myself and for the world.
And I am human. And I have been hiding behind a veil of smallness, of silence... for way too long... thinking that it was safer and less vulnerable and less, well, less. But no more.
2 years ago I had a dream that I was deep under the water... it felt relaxing and calm and fluid. I remember thinking, "Wow, I have been down here a long time," and I looked up toward the surface. I could still see the light.
A thought meandered slowly into my awareness, "This is how it feels when one slips away in the night..." I looked around again, I looked up. I noticed that I had not been breathing. I noticed that I was not listening to my body and recognizing its need for fresh air, for sustenance. I noticed that even though this felt like a safe and peaceful place, it would be my death... I knew I could not make it to the top to fill my lungs with fresh oxygen. I had gone too far. The last thought jolted me into survival mode: I panicked and then thought, "I didn't even say goodbye to my loved ones!" GASP, I took a breath and there was nothing but water filling my lungs!
I could feel my heart pounding. I didn't want to die, not yet, not now! I pushed with all my might to reach the surface, frantically, desperately... and then I awoke, I heard myself gasp, breathing as deeply as I possibly could.
Just writing this brings me right back, my fingers shaking as I type... tears welling... and it didn't end there.
When I jolted awake I couldn't feel my pulse. I didn't know for sure if I was really, truly alive... I didn't feel any tears. I didn't feel anything. You would think after a frightening experience such as this, my heart would be pounding in my chest, but it wasn't. I checked again. No pulse. I looked around the room with trepidation. Touched my partner to see if I could feel him. Yes, I sensed the warmth, but still I doubted. It was almost 3 am, I walked intentionally, consciously, deliberately, step by step to the living room. Still in a daze, I sent a text to my sons, my daughter, just saying that I love them so much. Just in case I had time to say goodbye... My son returned with, "I love you. Is everything okay." I was real again. I could feel the blood flush in my face. I was alive.
I am sharing this for myself, AND I am sharing this for you: if it will stir you to wake up from the dream-like state of what feels safe and secure, what has become familiar, what has become habitual and routine, but actually steals from you - ever-so-slowly, almost unnoticeably - your inherent right to live your greatest dreams and share your authentic voice and bring your unique gifts and shine your brightest light and radiate your most sacred love to/for/with the world.
If you feel the call to shine, to live your greatest life, to share your gifts with the world, then please join me in whatever way you feel to do so. This is a wake-up call from my heart to yours.
quote by @DawnaMarkova